Stop Being Afraid to Fail

# Stop Being Afraid to Fail

You're an outside hitter.

It's late in the match.

You already got blocked twice.

The set comes to you again.

You have two choices.

Swing aggressively.

Or protect yourself.

Maybe you tip.

Maybe you roll shot.

Maybe you simply try to keep the ball in play.

Not because it was the right volleyball decision.

Because somewhere inside your head you're thinking:

**"I don't want to get blocked again."**

You didn't stop competing because you lacked skill.

You stopped competing because you became afraid of what might happen if you failed.

That's a dangerous place for an athlete to live.

Because eventually fear of failure doesn't just protect you from mistakes.

**It protects you from growth.**

---

# Failure and Losing Are Not the Same Thing

Let's separate two things.

Losing is an outcome.

Failure is information.

Your team can lose while you personally grow tremendously.

You can also win while playing scared, avoiding responsibility, and learning almost nothing.

That's why the scoreboard cannot be your only measurement of development.

Sometimes the most valuable question after competition isn't:

**"Did we win?"**

It's:

"What did this experience reveal about me?"

---

# Fear Changes the Way You Play

Fear doesn't always look like fear.

Sometimes it looks like:

Playing safe.

Avoiding the ball.

Not calling for the set.

Serving easier than you normally would.

Refusing to try a new skill.

Not asking a question.

Avoiding better competition.

Making excuses before trying.

Choosing something easy because you know you can succeed.

The athlete may still look like they're competing.

But internally they're making decisions based on:

**"How do I avoid looking bad?"**

instead of:

**"What gives me the best opportunity to succeed and grow?"**

That's an important difference.

---

# There Are Different Kinds of Mistakes

I don't want you leaving this article thinking:

*"CoachMikeDZ says mistakes are good, so it doesn't matter what I do."*

No.

We need to distinguish between mistakes.

CARELESS MISTAKES

You weren't focused.

You didn't prepare.

You ignored instructions.

You gave poor effort.

You repeated something because you refused to adjust.

Those mistakes require accountability.

---

COURAGEOUS MISTAKES

You attempted the difficult skill you've been training.

You took an aggressive swing in the correct situation.

You tried the faster offensive tempo.

You made the right decision but didn't execute it yet.

You attempted something slightly beyond your current ability.

Those mistakes can be part of development.

Don't treat those two categories the same.

One may come from poor discipline.

The other may come from courage.

---

# Stop Protecting Your Statistics

As athletes get older, numbers begin appearing everywhere.

Kills.

Hitting percentage.

Assists.

Digs.

Aces.

Errors.

Rankings.

Highlights.

Social media.

Recruiting profiles.

Statistics can be useful.

But don't become so concerned with looking successful that you stop developing.

Sometimes growth requires trying something you haven't mastered.

That might temporarily make your numbers worse.

Ask yourself:

**Am I trying to become better, or am I trying to make sure everyone thinks I'm already good?**

Those goals can lead to very different decisions.

---

# Don't Build Your Game Around Avoidance

Suppose you struggle hitting line.

So you stop trying.

Now every attack goes cross court.

Your percentage may initially look better.

But what happens when better defenders recognize it?

You've protected yourself from line errors...

And prevented yourself from developing a complete attacking game.

This happens everywhere.

You don't like hand passing?

Avoid it.

Don't like serving short?

Avoid it.

Don't like attacking out of system?

Play safe.

Don't like leading?

Stay quiet.

Every time you build your life around avoiding something difficult, you make the walls around your ability a little stronger.

---

# Failure Is Tuition

Think about learning as an education.

Sometimes mistakes are the tuition.

You pay for the lesson with:

An error.

A bad repetition.

An uncomfortable moment.

A loss.

A failed attempt.

If you're willing to study what happened, you may receive something valuable in return.

Information.

Maybe the attempt showed:

Your footwork is late.

Your timing needs work.

Your strength isn't there yet.

Your decision was wrong.

Your preparation wasn't enough.

Good.

Now you know something.

Don't pay the tuition and refuse to take the class.

---

# Stop Needing Every Attempt to Work

Young athletes sometimes judge a new skill too quickly.

Try it once.

Fail.

*"That doesn't work."*

Try it twice.

Fail.

*"I'm not good at that."*

That's not how development works.

Imagine learning to walk that way.

Stand.

Fall.

*"Apparently walking isn't for me."*

You'd still be crawling.

Some skills require hundreds or thousands of repetitions.

Failure isn't always telling you to stop.

Sometimes it's telling you:

**You need more repetitions.**

---

# Don't Let Embarrassment Control Your Development

Sometimes athletes aren't afraid of the mistake itself.

They're afraid of people seeing it.

What will my teammates think?

What will my parents think?

What will Coach think?

What if everyone sees me fail?

Here's something important:

Most people aren't thinking about your mistake nearly as long as you are.

And even if they are...

You still have a decision.

Are you going to allow somebody else's possible opinion to determine what you're willing to attempt?

That's giving them enormous power over your development.

---

# Failure Can Reveal Your Current Limit

Suppose you're competing against an athlete who is significantly better than you.

They expose you.

That's useful.

You've just discovered where your current ability ends.

Now you have a choice.

You can avoid that level of competition.

Or you can begin building the skills required to survive there.

Your current limit isn't an insult.

**It's a starting point.**

---

# Don't Fail the Same Way Forever

Accepting failure doesn't mean becoming comfortable with repeating the same mistake without adjustment.

If you keep getting blocked the same way...

Study it.

If you keep missing the same serve...

Fix it.

If you repeatedly receive the same feedback...

Listen.

Failure should create information.

Information should create adjustment.

ATTEMPT → FAILURE → INFORMATION → ADJUSTMENT → NEW ATTEMPT

That's productive failure.

Without adjustment, you're not learning.

You're just repeating.

---

# Sometimes the Biggest Failure Is Not Trying

Years later, which bothers you more?

Trying something difficult and failing?

Or wondering what might have happened if you had been brave enough to try?

Sports give you a limited window.

You will not be 14 forever.

You will not be 16 forever.

You will not have unlimited practices.

Unlimited tournaments.

Unlimited opportunities.

Don't spend those years protecting yourself from moments that might expose you.

Use them.

---

# You Don't Need Permission to Try Again

You failed.

Okay.

What now?

You don't need a speech.

You don't need everyone to reassure you.

You don't need to wait until you feel confident again.

Get another repetition.

Try again.

That response builds something inside you.

Eventually failure becomes less frightening because you've developed a history of what happens afterward.

**You return.**

---

# From the Sideline

I've coached players who were so afraid of making mistakes that they became smaller versions of themselves.

They stopped swinging aggressively.

Stopped experimenting.

Stopped asking for difficult opportunities.

They weren't necessarily afraid of volleyball.

They were afraid of looking unsuccessful.

That's why I want players to understand this:

I can work with an athlete who tries something difficult and fails.

We can study it.

We can fix technique.

We can train.

We can try again.

It's much harder to develop an athlete who becomes unwilling to try.

I don't want you reckless.

I don't want careless volleyball.

I want something different.

COURAGEOUS VOLLEYBALL.

Make decisions.

Commit.

Learn.

Adjust.

Come back.

---

# CoachMikeDZ's Advice

There will be moments in your career when you have to decide what matters more:

**Protecting who you already are**

or:

**Discovering who you might become.**

The second option requires risk.

You might fail.

People might see it.

You may feel embarrassed.

You may discover you're not ready yet.

Good.

Now you know.

Go train.

I'd rather see you discover a weakness while courageously trying to grow than spend years hiding from it.

Don't become careless.

Become brave.

There's a difference.

---

# YOUR CHALLENGE

For your next practice, we're going to create a:

COURAGE REP

Choose **one action you've been avoiding because you're afraid of failing.**

Examples:

• Attack line.
• Use your hands in serve receive.
• Serve aggressively to a difficult zone.
• Run a faster tempo.
• Take an aggressive out-of-system swing.
• Ask to defend the best hitter.
• Volunteer for the pressure repetition.
• Speak during the huddle.
• Ask a question you've been embarrassed to ask.

Before practice, write:

**MY COURAGE REP:**

________________________

Then make one commitment:

I WILL ATTEMPT IT AT LEAST FIVE TIMES.

Success isn't the measurement today.

**Commitment is.**

After every attempt, label it:

CARELESS

I wasn't prepared, focused, or committed.

or:

COURAGEOUS

I made a committed attempt and it didn't work yet.

If it's careless, improve your preparation.

If it's courageous, learn something and take another rep.

After practice, answer:

**How many times did I attempt it?**

________

**How many times did I succeed?**

________

**What did the failures teach me?**

________________________

**What adjustment will I make next practice?**

________________________

Then answer the most important question:

DID FEAR CHANGE WHAT I WAS WILLING TO ATTEMPT?

Be honest.

Your goal isn't to eliminate failure.

Your goal is to make sure fear doesn't get to choose your game for you.

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# Key Takeaways

• Fear of failure can cause athletes to play safe and avoid development.
• Losing and failing are not the same thing.
• Learn to distinguish careless mistakes from courageous mistakes.
• Don't protect statistics or reputation at the expense of development.
• Avoidance can turn temporary weaknesses into permanent limitations.
• Failure becomes valuable when you extract information from it.
• New skills require enough repetitions to survive early failure.
• Don't let embarrassment determine what you're willing to attempt.
• Your current limit is information, not an identity.
• Productive failure requires adjustment.
• Sometimes not trying costs more than failing.
• Courage isn't recklessness. It's being willing to attempt difficult things despite uncertainty.

---

# NEXT: CHASE IMPROVEMENT, NOT APPROVAL

You've now learned to step toward failure instead of constantly protecting yourself from it.

But there's another reason athletes become afraid to fail.

**Other people are watching.**

Parents.

Coaches.

Teammates.

Scouts.

Recruiters.

Friends.

Followers.

You want them to think you're good.

You want praise.

You want recognition.

You want approval.

And without realizing it, you can begin building your athletic life around proving yourself to everybody else.

That's where we're going next.

# Chase Improvement, Not Approval

Because there is a huge difference between asking:

**"Did everyone think I played well?"**

and:

"Did I become better today?"

One puts your development in other people's hands.

**The other puts it back in yours.**