Replace “I Can’t” With “Teach Me”

# Replace “I Can’t” With “Teach Me”

There is a sentence coaches hear all the time:

**“I can’t do that.”**

Sometimes it comes after one attempt.

Sometimes after ten.

Sometimes an athlete has struggled with something for years.

Maybe it's:

*"I can't serve overhand."*

*"I can't hit line."*

*"I can't set."*

*"I can't pass jump serves."*

*"I can't play defense."*

*"I can't lead."*

But I want you to understand what can happen when you say those words.

**“I can't” describes the problem and then closes the door.**

So let's replace it with something.

Two words.

“TEACH ME.”

Those words do something completely different.

They open the door.

---

# “I Can't” and “Teach Me” Can Describe the Same Athlete

Imagine two athletes struggling with exactly the same skill.

Neither can consistently execute it.

The coach demonstrates the technique.

The first athlete says:

*"I can't do that."*

The second athlete says:

**“Teach me.”**

At that moment, their physical ability may be identical.

But their approach to development isn't.

One athlete has defined the current limitation.

The other has asked for a path through it.

That's the difference I want you to understand.

**Growth doesn't require you to already know how.**

It requires you to remain willing to learn.

---

# “I Don't Know How” Is Completely Different From “I Can't”

There will be things you genuinely don't know how to do.

Say that.

**“I don't know how to do this yet.”**

Great.

Now we have somewhere to begin.

Maybe you don't understand the footwork.

Maybe you can't feel the correct contact.

Maybe the game is moving too quickly.

Maybe nobody has explained the concept in a way that makes sense to you.

Maybe you need more repetitions.

Those are problems we can work on.

But when you decide:

**“I can't.”**

You've taken a current problem and turned it into a permanent conclusion.

Don't do that to yourself.

---

# You Are Allowed to Be a Beginner

Athletes sometimes become embarrassed when they don't know something.

Especially as they get older.

You look around and think:

*"Everyone else already knows this."*

So instead of asking...

You pretend.

That's one of the worst trades you can make.

You protect yourself from five seconds of embarrassment...

And potentially stay confused for months.

Ask the question.

Great athletes don't need everyone to believe they already know everything.

They care more about eventually understanding it.

---

# Asking for Help Is Not Weakness

Some athletes believe asking for help makes them look less talented.

I see it differently.

Asking a thoughtful question tells me:

**You care enough about improving to admit you don't have the answer.**

That takes maturity.

Try:

**“Can you show me that again?”**

**“Where should my feet be?”**

**“What are you seeing that I'm missing?”**

**“Can you watch my next three and tell me what's breaking down?”**

**“What should this feel like when I do it correctly?”**

Those are development questions.

Use them.

---

# Don't Ask for Help and Then Fight the Answer

This happens too.

An athlete asks:

*"What am I doing wrong?"*

The coach answers.

Then immediately:

*"But I was doing that because..."*

*"But the set was..."*

*"But she..."*

*"That's not what happened..."*

Now you're no longer asking to learn.

You're asking the coach to agree with your explanation.

There will be times when context matters.

But before explaining anything, try something much harder:

**Listen.**

Let the coach finish.

Make sure you understand what they're saying.

Then try it.

---

# Coachability Requires Action

Being coachable doesn't mean nodding your head.

It doesn't mean saying:

*"Okay, Coach."*

It means attempting to **apply the information.**

A coach tells you:

*"Get your feet there earlier."*

You say:

*"Got it."*

Then nothing changes.

Five repetitions later, you're doing exactly the same thing.

Were you coachable?

You heard the words.

But coachability requires another step:

LISTEN → UNDERSTAND → TRY → ADJUST

The goal isn't to immediately perform the correction perfectly.

The goal is for the coach to see you **trying to change.**

---

# Trying Something New May Make You Worse Temporarily

This is important.

Sometimes changing technique makes you worse before it makes you better.

Your old movement feels natural.

You've repeated it thousands of times.

Now your coach changes something.

Suddenly you feel awkward.

You mistime the ball.

You make mistakes.

Your first thought may be:

*"This doesn't work."*

Maybe.

But maybe you're simply experiencing what change feels like.

New movements are often uncomfortable before they become automatic.

Don't judge a correction only by whether the first repetition worked.

Give learning time to happen.

---

# Don't Protect Your Current Level

This is one of the biggest traps talented athletes can fall into.

You're already good.

Then a coach asks you to change something.

The change makes you uncomfortable.

Now you're afraid you'll look worse.

So you return to what you already know.

It works well enough.

But here's the problem:

**You may be protecting today's success at the expense of tomorrow's development.**

Sometimes getting better requires being willing to look worse for a little while.

---

# The Best Coaches Will Eventually Make You Uncomfortable

A coach who sees potential in you may ask for something you aren't currently capable of doing consistently.

That's not necessarily unfair.

It may mean they see another level.

They may challenge your technique.

Your decision-making.

Your effort.

Your communication.

Your leadership.

Your conditioning.

Your habits.

Your response to adversity.

Don't automatically interpret discomfort as:

**“Coach doesn't believe in me.”**

Sometimes the opposite is true.

Maybe Coach believes you're capable of more than you're currently giving.

---

# But “Teach Me” Doesn't Mean Blindly Accept Everything

Coachability doesn't mean turning off your brain.

Good athletes should think.

Ask questions.

Seek clarification.

Try to understand why something is being taught.

If something doesn't make sense, respectfully ask:

**“Can you explain why we're doing it this way?”**

That's different from immediately saying:

*"That's wrong."*

Curiosity and disrespect are not the same thing.

Learn to question in a way that produces understanding.

---

# Different Coaches Will Teach You Differently

Throughout your career, you'll probably hear different approaches.

One coach may change your footwork.

Another may change your platform.

Another may want a different attacking tempo.

Another may teach defense differently.

Your job isn't to become frustrated because every coach isn't identical.

Your job is to understand:

**What is this coach asking me to do, and why?**

Collect knowledge.

Experiment.

Learn what works.

Build a larger toolbox.

---

# “Teach Me” Goes Beyond Volleyball Skills

Maybe your coach tells you:

*"You need to communicate more."*

Don't say:

*"I'm just quiet."*

Ask:

**“Teach me how to communicate better.”**

Maybe you're told:

*"You need to become a leader."*

Don't say:

*"That's not my personality."*

Ask:

**“What would leadership look like from me?”**

Maybe you're told:

*"Your body language changes when you're frustrated."*

Don't say:

*"That's just how I am."*

Ask:

**“What should I do differently when I'm frustrated?”**

Growth isn't limited to passing, setting, and hitting.

You can learn how to communicate.

You can learn leadership.

You can improve emotional control.

You can develop confidence.

You can become a better teammate.

---

# Don't Let Your Personality Become an Excuse

*"I'm shy."*

*"I'm emotional."*

*"I'm stubborn."*

*"I'm not a leader."*

*"I'm just competitive."*

Maybe those statements describe parts of your personality.

They don't have to determine your behavior forever.

You don't need to become someone else.

But you should continue developing yourself.

A quiet athlete can learn to communicate.

An emotional athlete can learn regulation.

A naturally independent athlete can learn teamwork.

A talented athlete can learn humility.

**Personality explains some tendencies. It doesn't excuse refusing to grow.**

---

# Coaches Remember Athletes Who Want to Learn

Imagine coaching two athletes.

You correct the first one.

They roll their eyes.

Explain.

Argue.

Show frustration.

You correct the second one.

They look at you and say:

**“Can you show me?”**

Then they attempt the change.

They don't get it right.

They try again.

Which athlete makes you want to keep teaching?

That's something athletes sometimes overlook.

Coachability doesn't only help you learn.

**It makes people want to invest in your development.**

---

# From the Sideline

After coaching for decades, there is one response from an athlete that still gets my attention:

**“Teach me.”**

Because I can work with that.

You don't have to know everything.

You don't have to be the best player.

You don't have to learn every skill immediately.

But if you're willing to look at me and say:

*"I don't understand this. Help me understand."*

Now we're working together.

Some of the most rewarding athletes I've coached weren't the ones who learned everything fastest.

They were the ones who kept coming back.

*"Show me again."*

*"What am I missing?"*

*"Can we do another one?"*

*"What should I work on?"*

Those athletes gave themselves a chance to keep growing.

---

# CoachMikeDZ's Advice

Never be embarrassed to say:

**“I don't know.”**

I'd rather coach an athlete who admits they don't know something than one who pretends they do.

And never allow:

**“I can't do this.”**

to become the end of the conversation.

Maybe you can't do it today.

Maybe it's going to take months.

Maybe it's incredibly difficult for you.

That's okay.

Look at your coach.

Look at your trainer.

Look at the teammate who does it well.

And ask:

“TEACH ME.”

Then listen.

Try.

Fail.

Ask again.

Adjust.

Keep working.

Those two words can take you a very long way.

---

# YOUR CHALLENGE

At your next practice, identify **one thing you struggle with.**

Don't choose something you're already good at.

Choose something that makes you uncomfortable.

Now find someone who can help you.

It might be your coach.

An assistant coach.

A trainer.

Or a teammate who performs that skill well.

Ask:

“Can you teach me one thing that would help me improve this?”

Then follow three rules.

RULE 1: DON'T EXPLAIN

When they give you feedback, don't immediately tell them why you've been struggling.

Listen.

RULE 2: ASK ONE FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

Try:

**“Can you show me?”**

or:

**“What should I feel when I'm doing it correctly?”**

RULE 3: APPLY IT IMMEDIATELY

Get repetitions.

Don't worry about looking perfect.

Try the change.

After practice, write down:

**WHAT I ASKED:**

________________________

**WHAT I LEARNED:**

________________________

**WHAT I TRIED:**

________________________

**WHAT I NEED TO KEEP WORKING ON:**

________________________

Do this often enough and something powerful happens.

You stop hiding from weaknesses.

**You start attacking them with curiosity.**

---

# Key Takeaways

• “I can't” describes a limitation; “Teach me” creates a path forward.
• Not knowing how to do something is not the same as being incapable of learning it.
• You are allowed to be a beginner.
• Asking for help is a sign of maturity, not weakness.
• Listen to feedback before explaining yourself.
• Coachability requires applying information, not merely hearing it.
• New techniques may feel worse before they become better.
• Don't protect your current ability at the expense of future development.
• Coachability doesn't mean blind agreement; thoughtful questions are valuable.
• Personality should not become an excuse for refusing to develop.
• Athletes who genuinely want to learn make people want to invest in them.

---

# NEXT: WHAT IS THIS TRYING TO TEACH ME?

You've learned to respond to something you don't know with:

**“Teach me.”**

But some of your greatest teachers won't be people.

They'll be experiences you never wanted.

Getting cut.

Losing.

Sitting on the bench.

Being outplayed.

Not making the team you wanted.

Getting corrected.

Being overlooked.

Failing in an important moment.

Those experiences don't walk up and explain the lesson.

**You have to find it.**

That's where we're going next.

# What Is This Trying to Teach Me?

Because when something difficult happens, you can spend all of your energy asking:

**“Why is this happening to me?”**

Or you can eventually learn to ask a much more powerful question:

“What is this trying to teach me?”