Chase Improvement, Not Approval

# Chase Improvement, Not Approval

You played a great match.

What's the first thing you want to know?

Did Coach notice?

What did your parents think?

Did the scout see you?

Did someone post about you?

Did you make the All-Tournament Team?

Did your ranking change?

Did anyone tell you how well you played?

Wanting recognition is normal.

It feels good when people notice your hard work.

But there's a danger when recognition becomes the reason you work.

Because eventually you can become more concerned with:

**"What does everyone think about me?"**

than:

**"Am I actually getting better?"**

Those are two very different ways to build an athletic career.

---

# The External Scoreboard

Athletes grow up surrounded by scoreboards.

Wins.

Losses.

Statistics.

Rankings.

Awards.

Starting positions.

Playing time.

Social media followers.

Highlight views.

Recruiting attention.

Offers.

All-Tournament Teams.

Those things aren't automatically bad.

Some are useful measurements.

Some create opportunities.

Some deserve to be celebrated.

But they're all part of what I call:

THE EXTERNAL SCOREBOARD

It's the collection of things other people can see, measure, judge, rank, or give you.

And if you aren't careful...

You can spend your entire athletic career trying to win that scoreboard.

---

# Build an Internal Scoreboard

There's another scoreboard.

Most people never see it.

Ask yourself:

Did I improve today?

Did I train with purpose?

Did I attack a weakness?

Did I become stronger?

Did I communicate better?

Did I learn something?

Did I keep my word to myself?

Did I handle adversity better?

Did I become a better teammate?

Did I respond well when things didn't go my way?

Did I do something today that my future self will benefit from?

That's your:

INTERNAL SCOREBOARD.

And unlike rankings, awards, playing time, and recognition...

You have much more control over it.

---

# Approval Can Become Addictive

Approval feels good.

Coach tells you:

*"Great job."*

Your parents are proud.

Someone posts your highlight.

A scout writes about you.

You receive an award.

People comment on your social media.

You feel great.

But what happens when nobody says anything?

Was the work suddenly less valuable?

What happens when another player gets the recognition?

Was your improvement suddenly erased?

What happens when your coach corrects you instead of praising you?

Did you suddenly become a worse player?

If your motivation depends entirely on applause, you're going to experience a lot of emotional highs and lows.

Because you don't control when people clap.

---

# Don't Train for Compliments

There will be practices where you work incredibly hard and nobody notices.

Good.

There will be weeks when you improve something and nobody compliments you.

Good.

There will be times when another athlete gets recognized instead.

Good.

Those moments give you an opportunity to answer an important question:

"Would I still do the work if nobody praised me for doing it?"

If the answer becomes yes...

You're developing something powerful.

Internal motivation.

---

# Comparison Can Steal Your Development

You open social media.

Another player received an offer.

Another athlete was ranked.

Another teammate posted a highlight.

Someone made a national team.

Someone committed.

Someone got invited to an event.

And suddenly...

Your own progress doesn't feel as good anymore.

Nothing about your development changed.

Someone else's success changed the way you felt about yours.

Be careful.

Comparison can make you abandon your own path because you're constantly measuring it against somebody else's timeline.

---

# Someone Else's Success Is Not Your Failure

Your teammate gets an offer.

That doesn't mean you failed.

Another athlete starts.

That doesn't mean you're worthless.

Someone gets ranked higher.

That doesn't erase your improvement.

Another player gets an award.

That doesn't take away your work.

There is enough room in sports for other people to succeed.

Learn to say:

**"Good for them. Now back to work."**

That ability will save you enormous amounts of emotional energy.

---

# Learn From Comparison Instead of Living Inside It

Comparison isn't always useless.

Sometimes another athlete shows you what's possible.

Maybe someone at your position:

Moves faster.

Jumps higher.

Communicates better.

Reads the game earlier.

Serves tougher.

Handles pressure better.

Good.

Study it.

Ask:

**"What can I learn from them?"**

Then return to your own development.

Comparison becomes dangerous when it turns into judgment.

It becomes useful when it turns into information.

---

# Social Media Is a Highlight Reel

You need to understand what you're looking at.

You see:

Commitments.

Awards.

Kills.

Aces.

Championship celebrations.

Scholarship announcements.

Workout videos.

Great practices.

Perfect swings.

You usually don't see:

The terrible tournament.

The recruiting rejection.

The bad practice.

The argument in the car.

The confidence struggle.

The months without an offer.

The injury.

The missed serve.

The athlete wondering whether they're good enough.

Don't compare your complete life to someone else's edited highlights.

---

# Rankings Are Someone Else's Evaluation

Rankings can be exciting.

They can create exposure.

They can recognize performance.

But they are still an evaluation created by someone else.

You can appreciate being ranked without needing the ranking to tell you who you are.

And if you aren't ranked?

Your responsibility remains exactly the same.

**Develop.**

A ranking doesn't improve your serve.

It doesn't strengthen your body.

It doesn't improve your passing.

It doesn't increase your volleyball IQ.

Training does that.

---

# Recruiting Attention Can Become Another Scoreboard

As you get older, recruiting creates another dangerous comparison.

*"She has five offers."*

*"I don't have any."*

*"That school followed her."*

*"That coach hasn't responded to me."*

*"She committed already."*

Stop.

Every recruiting journey is different.

Schools need different positions.

Different graduation years.

Different academic profiles.

Different athletic characteristics.

Different roster needs.

Your teammate's recruiting journey is not a scoreboard for yours.

The goal isn't:

GET RECRUITED BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE.

The goal is:

FIND THE RIGHT OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU.

Those are very different goals.

---

# Don't Perform for the Scout

There's a college coach standing near your court.

Suddenly you want to prove yourself.

Now you're swinging at balls you shouldn't.

Trying to hit harder.

Forcing plays.

Looking toward the sideline.

Trying to create a highlight.

Stop.

The best way to show someone who you are as an athlete is usually to:

**Play volleyball.**

Make good decisions.

Communicate.

Compete.

Be a teammate.

Handle adversity.

Do your job.

Don't become a different player because someone important walked into the gym.

---

# Your Parents' Approval Can Matter Too Much

Most athletes want their parents to be proud of them.

There's nothing wrong with that.

But eventually you have to learn to evaluate your own performance.

You shouldn't need to look into the stands after every play.

You shouldn't need the car ride home to determine whether you played well.

You shouldn't need Mom or Dad to tell you whether Coach was right.

Your parents can support your journey.

But the journey has to increasingly become **yours.**

You need to develop your own standards.

---

# Stop Asking "Was I Good?"

Try asking better questions.

Instead of:

**"Did I play good?"**

Ask:

**"What did I do better than last time?"**

**"Where did I struggle?"**

**"What did I learn?"**

**"What needs work?"**

**"Did I compete the way I wanted?"**

**"What is my next step?"**

Now you're evaluating development instead of searching for approval.

---

# Praise Is Information Too

This doesn't mean ignore compliments.

If a coach tells you:

*"Your communication was excellent today."*

Good.

Ask yourself:

**What did I do that created that?**

If someone says:

*"Your passing has really improved."*

Great.

What training helped?

Praise can contain information just like criticism.

Receive it.

Study it.

Then continue working.

Don't become dependent on it.

---

# Improvement Is Often Boring

This is something social media doesn't show very well.

Real development often looks incredibly boring.

Passing repetitions.

Footwork.

Strength training.

Sleep.

Nutrition.

Watching film.

Serving targets.

Repeating fundamentals.

Doing something badly until you finally do it better.

Then repeating it again.

There may be no applause.

No post.

No award.

No highlight.

Just improvement.

Learn to love that process.

---

# Create Standards Nobody Else Has to Enforce

Eventually, I want you to develop standards that don't require:

Coach yelling.

Parents reminding.

Teammates pushing.

Someone watching.

You arrive prepared because that's your standard.

You communicate because that's your standard.

You train hard because that's your standard.

You take care of your body because that's your standard.

You behave like a great teammate because that's your standard.

That's when development becomes much more powerful.

You're no longer waiting for someone else to push you.

---

# From the Sideline

I've watched athletes become completely consumed by what everyone else thought about them.

Rankings.

Playing time.

Awards.

Recruiting.

Praise.

Social media.

They were constantly looking outward.

And when the attention disappeared, sometimes their motivation disappeared with it.

I've also watched athletes who quietly kept building.

Maybe nobody noticed immediately.

But they kept improving.

Then one day people started saying:

*"Where did that player come from?"*

She didn't come from nowhere.

She was working while nobody was watching.

That's the athlete I want you to understand.

Recognition often arrives **after** development.

Don't reverse the order.

---

# CoachMikeDZ's Advice

I want you to receive recognition.

I want people to notice your hard work.

I want you to celebrate awards.

I want you to be proud when someone believes in you.

But don't become addicted to applause.

Because there will be moments when nobody is clapping.

And the work still needs to happen.

Don't spend your career asking everyone:

**"Am I good enough?"**

Ask yourself:

"Am I getting better?"

That's a question you can actually do something about.

And if the answer today is no?

Good.

You don't need someone to make you feel better.

You need a plan.

---

# YOUR CHALLENGE

For the next **seven days**, you're going to keep an:

INTERNAL SCOREBOARD

At the end of every practice or training session, give yourself one point for each statement you can honestly answer YES to.

+1 — I LEARNED

I learned something I didn't understand before.

+1 — I ATTACKED A WEAKNESS

I spent meaningful time on something difficult for me.

+1 — I COMPETED

My effort stayed high even when things became difficult.

+1 — I WAS COACHABLE

I received information and attempted to apply it.

+1 — I WAS A GREAT TEAMMATE

I contributed something positive to someone else's experience.

Your maximum score is:

5

Don't post the score.

Don't send it to your teammates.

Don't ask anyone whether they agree.

This scoreboard belongs to you.

At the end of seven days, look at your scores.

Then ask:

**Where am I consistently strong?**

**Where am I losing points?**

**What does that tell me about what I need to develop next?**

The goal isn't earning 5/5 every day.

The goal is learning to evaluate yourself based on behaviors that create growth.

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# Key Takeaways

• Recognition is enjoyable, but it should not become the reason you work.
• External scoreboards include rankings, awards, statistics, playing time, social media, and recruiting attention.
• Build an internal scoreboard based on behaviors you can control.
• Someone else's success does not mean you are failing.
• Use comparison for information rather than judgment.
• Social media rarely shows an athlete's complete journey.
• Rankings are evaluations, not identities.
• Recruiting is about finding the right opportunity, not winning a race against other athletes.
• Don't change the way you compete because an evaluator is watching.
• Learn to evaluate your own performance instead of constantly seeking reassurance.
• Improvement often happens without recognition.
• Develop standards that don't require someone else to enforce them.

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# NEXT: CORRECTION IS NOT CRITICISM

You've spent the last several lessons learning how to take ownership of your development.

Now we're entering a new stage.

Because you aren't going to develop completely on your own.

Someone is eventually going to tell you:

**"That needs to be better."**

And those words may not feel good.

Your coach may correct your technique.

Question your effort.

Challenge your decision-making.

Tell you your communication isn't good enough.

Point out a weakness you didn't know you had.

What happens next matters.

Do you hear:

**"You're not good enough"?**

Or can you learn to hear:

**"Here's something we can improve"?**

That's where we're going next.

# Correction Is Not Criticism

Because one of the biggest breakthroughs an athlete can make is learning that being corrected does not automatically mean someone is against you.

Sometimes correction means someone is still willing to **invest their time in helping you get better.**