What If Your Athlete Never Plays College Volleyball?

# What If Your Athlete Never Plays College Volleyball?

It starts innocently.

Your daughter loves volleyball.

She gets better.

She joins a club.

She makes stronger teams.

She starts attending bigger tournaments.

Someone says:

**"She could play in college someday."**

Suddenly, a possibility becomes a goal.

Then the goal can slowly become an expectation.

Private lessons.

Travel.

Showcases.

Camps.

Recruiting profiles.

Highlight videos.

Emails.

College lists.

Years of work begin pointing toward one destination:

COLLEGE VOLLEYBALL.

There's nothing wrong with that dream.

If your athlete wants to play in college, help her pursue it.

Teach her what the process requires.

Help her find the right opportunities.

Encourage her to work.

But somewhere along the journey, every volleyball family should be willing to ask a difficult question:

WHAT IF SHE NEVER PLAYS COLLEGE VOLLEYBALL?

Would everything you invested still have been worth it?

I believe the answer should be:

ABSOLUTELY.

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# COLLEGE VOLLEYBALL IS AN OPPORTUNITY—NOT THE PURPOSE OF YOUTH VOLLEYBALL

There is a subtle difference between saying:

**"My daughter wants to play college volleyball."**

and:

**"All of this is so my daughter can play college volleyball."**

The first is a goal.

The second can turn an entire childhood experience into a means to an end.

Youth volleyball should be valuable even if the final destination changes.

Your athlete should gain something from:

• Practices
• Competition
• Teammates
• Coaches
• Travel
• Failure
• Success
• Leadership
• Responsibility
• Adversity

whether or not a college coach eventually offers her a roster spot.

---

# NOT EVERY GREAT YOUTH ATHLETE WILL PLAY IN COLLEGE

This can be difficult for families to accept.

An athlete can be:

Talented.

Hardworking.

Successful.

A starter.

A great teammate.

A varsity player.

A strong club player.

And still not ultimately play college volleyball.

There are many possible reasons.

Maybe the right opportunity never develops.

Maybe academics lead somewhere else.

Maybe finances influence the decision.

Maybe the schools interested in her aren't schools she wants to attend.

Maybe injuries affect the journey.

Maybe she changes priorities.

Maybe she simply decides she's ready to move on.

None of those outcomes erase the athlete she became.

---

# "CAN PLAY IN COLLEGE" IS DIFFERENT FROM "SHOULD PLAY IN COLLEGE"

This distinction matters.

Sometimes athletes receive an opportunity and everyone immediately thinks:

"YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT."

Why?

Because after all these years, playing college volleyball feels like the finish line.

But choosing a college is much bigger than choosing a volleyball team.

Your athlete is choosing:

• An education
• A campus
• A financial commitment
• A community
• A possible career path
• A place to live
• An experience that may shape her adulthood

Volleyball matters.

But it shouldn't automatically outweigh everything else.

THE BEST VOLLEYBALL OPPORTUNITY ISN'T ALWAYS THE BEST COLLEGE DECISION.

---

# DON'T MAKE HER CHOOSE A SCHOOL JUST TO KEEP PLAYING

Imagine your daughter has two options.

One school is:

A great academic fit.

Affordable.

A campus she loves.

A place she can see herself thriving.

But there isn't a realistic volleyball opportunity.

Another school gives her a chance to play volleyball...

but everything else fits poorly.

Which one should she choose?

There isn't one universal answer.

But parents should be careful about communicating:

**"You didn't work all these years just to stop now."**

Maybe those years prepared her for something much bigger than continuing the sport.

Volleyball should expand her opportunities.

IT SHOULDN'T TRAP HER INSIDE ONE.

---

# THE SCHOLARSHIP CANNOT BECOME THE FAMILY SCOREBOARD

Youth sports sometimes create an unhealthy equation:

Years of club volleyball + thousands of dollars + private training + travel = scholarship.

Then families start calculating whether the investment "paid off."

That's not a healthy way to measure a childhood.

A scholarship can be wonderful.

Financial assistance can absolutely matter.

But your daughter's youth volleyball experience isn't a financial transaction where the return must eventually appear in tuition dollars.

You weren't buying a scholarship.

You were providing an opportunity.

---

# BE CAREFUL WITH "AFTER EVERYTHING WE'VE SPENT"

Club volleyball can require an enormous financial commitment.

Families make real sacrifices.

That shouldn't be minimized.

But imagine an athlete reaching high school and realizing she no longer wants to pursue college volleyball.

Then hearing:

**"Do you know how much money we've spent on volleyball?"**

Now the athlete isn't making a college decision.

She's trying to repay her parents.

That's too much weight.

Parents make financial decisions.

Children shouldn't feel obligated to produce a particular athletic outcome as repayment.

---

# DON'T LET RECRUITING DECIDE WHETHER SHE FEELS SUCCESSFUL

Recruiting can create a strange emotional environment.

One athlete commits.

Celebration.

Another commits.

Another graphic.

Another announcement.

Your daughter waits.

Soon she may begin thinking:

"EVERYONE ELSE IS GETTING CHOSEN."

That's painful.

But a recruiting outcome does not determine an athlete's worth.

College coaches are building rosters.

They are evaluating fit for their programs.

A recruiting decision is not a final judgment on everything your athlete accomplished.

---

# A COMMITMENT GRAPHIC ISN'T THE ENDING OF THE STORY

Social media can make a college commitment look like the ultimate victory.

The graphic gets posted.

The comments pour in.

Years of volleyball seem to have reached the perfect ending.

But committing to a college is actually the beginning of another difficult journey.

College athletes still have to:

• Earn roles
• Handle competition
• Balance academics
• Manage time
• Adapt to coaching
• Deal with injuries
• Handle reduced playing time
• Navigate changing rosters
• Decide whether the experience remains right for them

Getting recruited isn't the finish line.

It's another starting line.

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# PLAYING COLLEGE VOLLEYBALL ISN'T THE ONLY SUCCESSFUL ENDING

Maybe your athlete plays Division I.

Wonderful.

Maybe Division II.

Division III.

NAIA.

Junior college.

Wonderful.

Maybe she attends college and plays club volleyball.

Maybe intramurals.

Maybe she coaches.

Maybe she officiates.

Maybe she stays connected to the game in another way.

Maybe she never touches a volleyball competitively again.

None of those possibilities automatically determine whether her youth volleyball journey was successful.

---

# ASK WHAT VOLLEYBALL HAS ALREADY GIVEN HER

Instead of only asking:

"WHERE WILL VOLLEYBALL TAKE HER?"

sometimes ask:

"WHAT HAS VOLLEYBALL ALREADY GIVEN HER?"

Maybe she learned how to:

• Work toward something difficult
• Receive criticism
• Communicate with adults
• Handle disappointment
• Compete
• Lead
• Follow
• Be accountable
• Manage her time
• Travel independently
• Handle pressure
• Recover from mistakes
• Support teammates
• Work with people she didn't choose
• Lose
• Win with humility

Those are significant returns.

And she keeps them when volleyball ends.

---

# THINK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIPS

Some athletes will remember teammates for the rest of their lives.

Families become friends.

Coaches become mentors.

Tournament trips become stories told years later.

There were:

Hotel breakfasts.

Airport runs.

Team dinners.

Long drives.

Ridiculous warm-up songs.

Championship celebrations.

Heartbreaking losses.

Inside jokes.

Hugs after final matches.

Those experiences don't become meaningless because there wasn't eventually a college jersey.

They were part of growing up.

---

# THINK ABOUT THE PERSON

Maybe your daughter started volleyball afraid to speak.

Now she communicates confidently.

Maybe she couldn't handle correction.

Now she seeks feedback.

Maybe mistakes destroyed her emotionally.

Now she resets.

Maybe she depended on you to solve every problem.

Now she speaks to coaches herself.

Maybe she followed others.

Now she leads.

How much is that worth?

There isn't a scholarship amount that measures it.

---

# COLLEGE VOLLEYBALL SHOULD BE HER GOAL BEFORE IT BECOMES YOUR GOAL

This is worth checking periodically.

Ask:

"DO YOU STILL WANT TO PLAY VOLLEYBALL IN COLLEGE?"

Not:

**"Where do you want to play?"**

First determine whether she still wants to.

The answer may be:

**"Absolutely."**

Great.

Help her pursue it.

But give her permission to answer honestly.

Because sometimes athletes continue pursuing college volleyball because they believe everyone around them expects it.

The dream has to belong to the athlete.

---

# IT IS OKAY TO PURSUE SOMETHING AGGRESSIVELY WITHOUT KNOWING WHETHER YOU'LL GET IT

There is another lesson here.

Some parents fear that if college volleyball isn't guaranteed, all the effort may be wasted.

That's not how meaningful goals work.

Athletes can pursue something difficult knowing there are no guarantees.

Train.

Compete.

Email coaches.

Attend camps when appropriate.

Build film.

Research programs.

Improve academically.

Give the recruiting process a real effort.

Then see where it leads.

THE POSSIBILITY OF NOT REACHING A GOAL DOESN'T MAKE PURSUING IT FOOLISH.

Learning how to pursue something uncertain is valuable by itself.

---

# BUT DON'T SACRIFICE EVERYTHING FOR THE POSSIBILITY

Goals need perspective.

Be careful if pursuing college volleyball begins costing the athlete:

• Her mental well-being
• Academic opportunities
• Important relationships
• Family stability
• Financial decisions the family cannot reasonably sustain
• Her entire identity

Ambition is healthy.

Obsession can become expensive in ways that have nothing to do with money.

---

# HER EDUCATION STILL MATTERS

Sometimes volleyball families spend enormous energy researching:

• Rosters
• Coaches
• Conferences
• Playing time
• Recruiting needs

and surprisingly little time asking:

"IS THIS ACTUALLY A GOOD SCHOOL FOR HER?"

Remember why she is going to college.

What does she want to study?

Can the family afford it?

Does she like the campus?

Does the school support her future?

Would she still want to attend if volleyball disappeared tomorrow?

That last question is worth considering.

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# VOLLEYBALL SHOULD HELP OPEN THE DOOR—NOT BECOME THE ENTIRE ROOM

If volleyball creates an opportunity to attend a school your athlete loves, that's incredible.

Use the sport.

Let it create relationships.

Exposure.

Opportunities.

Maybe financial assistance.

Maybe an experience she never imagined.

But once she walks through the door, there should be a meaningful life waiting on the other side.

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# DON'T CALL THE JOURNEY A FAILURE IF THE DESTINATION CHANGES

Suppose your daughter plays volleyball for ten years.

Then at 18 she decides:

**"I'm ready to be done."**

Was the entire journey unsuccessful?

Of course not.

We don't say childhood music lessons were wasted because someone didn't become a professional musician.

We don't say years of school sports were wasted because someone didn't become a professional athlete.

The value was also in what happened along the way.

Youth sports should be allowed to have value without requiring professional or collegiate continuation.

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# SOMEDAY SHE MAY MISS IT

There may come a day when your daughter walks past a volleyball gym and hears:

Shoes squeaking.

Balls bouncing.

Players calling seams.

Whistles.

Teammates laughing.

And for a moment she misses it.

That's okay.

Something doesn't have to last forever to have mattered deeply.

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# FROM THE SIDELINE

I've spent decades around volleyball.

I've helped athletes pursue college opportunities.

I've watched players work incredibly hard to continue their careers.

And I believe athletes who want to play in college should be taught how to pursue that goal seriously and realistically.

But I never want a young athlete believing:

"IF I DON'T PLAY IN COLLEGE, ALL OF THIS WAS FOR NOTHING."

Because that's simply not true.

If volleyball helped a young person become more resilient...

more confident...

more disciplined...

more accountable...

more independent...

a better communicator...

a better teammate...

and someone who knows how to work toward difficult things...

then volleyball already gave her something valuable.

A college roster spot would be another opportunity.

IT SHOULD NEVER BE THE ONLY PROOF THAT THE JOURNEY MATTERED.

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# COACH MIKE DZ'S ADVICE

Parents, dream with your athlete.

If she wants college volleyball, support her.

Help her understand recruiting.

Help her find the right level.

Help her train.

Help her research schools.

Help her pursue the opportunity.

But don't make one outcome responsible for validating ten years of her childhood.

Tell her:

"WE'RE PROUD OF WHO YOU'RE BECOMING THROUGH THIS JOURNEY—NOT JUST WHERE VOLLEYBALL TAKES YOU."

Then mean it.

If she plays in college:

Celebrate.

If she chooses another path:

Celebrate the person walking down that path too.

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# YOUR FAMILY CHALLENGE

Have a conversation with your athlete that has nothing to do with recruiting strategy.

Ask:

"IF YOU NEVER PLAYED COLLEGE VOLLEYBALL, WHAT WOULD VOLLEYBALL HAVE ALREADY GIVEN YOU?"

Let her answer first.

Then answer it yourself.

Maybe you say:

**"I've watched you become more confident."**

**"You've learned how to handle hard things."**

**"You've made incredible friendships."**

**"I've loved traveling with you."**

**"I've watched you become a leader."**

Then tell her something every athlete pursuing college volleyball should hear:

"WE'LL HELP YOU CHASE THIS GOAL. BUT YOU DON'T have to achieve it to make us proud."

That doesn't lower expectations.

It gives the athlete a secure place from which to pursue them.

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# KEY TAKEAWAYS

• College volleyball can be an exciting goal without becoming the sole purpose of youth volleyball.
• A successful youth athlete does not have to become a college athlete.
• Being capable of playing college volleyball doesn't automatically mean every athlete should choose that path.
• College decisions should consider academics, finances, campus fit and the athlete's future—not volleyball alone.
• Families should avoid treating scholarships as the financial return on years of youth sports spending.
• Athletes should never feel obligated to repay parental sacrifices through athletic achievement.
• Recruiting outcomes do not determine an athlete's value.
• A college commitment is the beginning of another competitive journey, not the final proof of success.
• There are many meaningful ways for athletes to remain connected to volleyball after high school.
• Volleyball can develop resilience, communication, discipline, leadership, accountability and independence.
• Relationships and memories are meaningful parts of the return on youth sports.
• Parents should periodically make sure the college-volleyball dream still belongs to the athlete.
• Pursuing an uncertain goal can be valuable even without a guaranteed outcome.
• Ambition should not require sacrificing everything else in an athlete's life.
• Education and overall college fit should remain central to the college decision.
• A changing destination does not erase the value of the journey.
• Something does not have to last forever to have mattered.
• Parents can enthusiastically support college volleyball goals while making clear that their pride and love are not conditional on achieving them.

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SHE DOESN'T NEED A COLLEGE JERSEY TO PROVE THE YEARS MATTERED

Maybe one day you'll sit in the stands and watch your daughter play college volleyball.

That would be an incredible moment.

Maybe you won't.

Maybe her final match happens in high school.

When that final whistle blows, look at the person walking off the court.

Is she stronger?

More confident?

More resilient?

More responsible?

More independent?

Does she know how to compete?

Communicate?

Lead?

Fail?

Recover?

Work?

If volleyball helped build those things, then the journey produced something far more lasting than another jersey.

COLLEGE VOLLEYBALL CAN BE A WONDERFUL DESTINATION.

BUT THE PERSON YOUR CHILD BECOMES ALONG THE WAY WILL ALWAYS MATTER MORE.