What Parents Should Expect From a Club Volleyball Coach

# What Parents Should Expect From a Club Volleyball Coach

When families join a club volleyball team, they are placing an enormous amount of trust in a coach.

Your athlete may spend hundreds of hours with that person throughout the season.

Practices.

Tournaments.

Travel.

Team meetings.

Wins.

Losses.

Mistakes.

Successes.

Disappointments.

For several months, that coach becomes one of the adults helping shape your child's volleyball experience.

So what should parents reasonably expect?

Not perfection.

Not guaranteed playing time.

Not a championship.

Not constant praise.

And not every decision going the way your family wants.

But there are standards families should expect from someone entrusted with coaching young athletes.

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# 1. EXPECT YOUR CHILD TO BE TAUGHT

This comes first.

**Coaching is teaching.**

A coach's job isn't simply to organize drills, make a lineup, and stand beside the court during tournaments.

Athletes should be learning.

That includes:

• Volleyball technique
• Position responsibilities
• Team systems
• Decision-making
• Volleyball IQ
• Communication
• Competitive habits
• How to respond to mistakes
• How to work with teammates
• How to handle pressure

Watch practices when appropriate.

Listen to your athlete.

Is the coach actually teaching?

Are athletes learning **why** something happens?

Are mistakes being corrected?

Are players becoming more knowledgeable as the season progresses?

A successful season should leave an athlete knowing more volleyball than she knew when it began.

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# 2. EXPECT DEVELOPMENT TO TAKE TIME

Parents should expect development.

But don't confuse development with instant results.

Athletes learn at different speeds.

Some technical changes initially make performance look worse before they make it better.

A coach may be trying to change:

• Footwork
• Arm swing
• Platform
• Setting technique
• Blocking movement
• Defensive positioning
• Decision-making

Changing a habit takes repetition.

Your athlete may understand the correction before she can consistently execute it.

That's normal.

The question isn't:

**"Did the coach fix this immediately?"**

Ask:

**"Is there a clear teaching process, and is my athlete progressing?"**

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# 3. EXPECT THE COACH TO COACH THE ENTIRE ROSTER

Every athlete cannot receive identical playing time.

Every athlete can be coached.

There is a difference.

A player who isn't currently starting should still receive:

• Instruction
• Feedback
• Practice repetitions
• Correction
• Encouragement
• Developmental expectations

One of the things parents should watch throughout a season is whether the coach continues investing in athletes whose roles are currently smaller.

The starting lineup matters.

So does the future development of every athlete on the roster.

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# 4. EXPECT HONEST FEEDBACK

Good coaching isn't constant praise.

Sometimes your athlete needs to hear:

**Your passing isn't consistent enough yet.**

**Your communication needs to improve.**

**You aren't reading the game quickly enough.**

**Your practice habits need to change.**

**Another athlete is currently performing that responsibility better.**

Those conversations can hurt.

But respectful honesty is part of development.

Parents should not expect coaches to protect athletes from every uncomfortable truth.

They should expect coaches to communicate those truths in a way that helps athletes improve.

There is a major difference between:

**Honesty**

and

**Humiliation.**

Great coaches understand that difference.

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# 5. EXPECT ACCOUNTABILITY WITHOUT HUMILIATION

Athletes should be held accountable.

If a player repeatedly arrives late, gives poor effort, ignores instructions, treats teammates badly, or refuses to meet team standards, the coach should address it.

Accountability may include consequences.

That is part of sports.

But consequences should serve a developmental purpose.

They should not be used to embarrass an athlete, demonstrate a coach's power, or release a coach's anger.

A coach can be demanding without being demeaning.

A coach can establish high standards without humiliating players.

A coach can correct behavior without attacking character.

Parents should expect both:

**High standards AND human dignity.**

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# 6. EXPECT CLEAR EXPECTATIONS

Many team conflicts begin because nobody clearly explained the expectations.

Families should understand things such as:

• Attendance
• Practice behavior
• Tournament arrival times
• Communication procedures
• Playing-time philosophy
• Travel expectations
• Athlete responsibilities
• Parent responsibilities
• Team rules

Good coaches don't wait until someone violates an unwritten rule to explain that the rule exists.

Expectations should be communicated early and reinforced consistently.

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# 7. EXPECT PROFESSIONAL COMMUNICATION

Parents don't need a daily report about everything happening with the team.

But they should receive necessary information in a reasonable and organized way.

That includes things such as:

• Practice changes
• Tournament schedules
• Arrival expectations
• Travel information
• Important deadlines
• Team updates

Families should also know how concerns are supposed to be communicated.

Should the athlete contact the coach first?

Should parents email?

Is there a waiting period after tournaments?

When should the club director become involved?

Clear communication procedures prevent many emotional situations from becoming unnecessary conflicts.

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# 8. DON'T EXPECT 24/7 ACCESS TO THE COACH

Communication matters.

Constant access is different.

Coaches have:

• Families
• Jobs
• Other teams
• Administrative responsibilities
• Personal lives

A coach should respond to reasonable communication within the expectations established by the club.

But parents should not expect immediate responses to every message.

Especially late at night.

Especially during tournaments.

Especially immediately after an emotional match.

Healthy boundaries protect everyone.

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# 9. EXPECT THE COACH TO KNOW YOUR ATHLETE

This doesn't mean the coach must become your child's best friend.

It means the coach should make an effort to understand the athlete they are teaching.

Different athletes respond differently.

One athlete may need a direct challenge.

Another may need a question.

Another may need something demonstrated.

Another may need a correction broken into smaller pieces.

One athlete processes criticism quickly.

Another needs a moment.

The standard can remain the same while the method of teaching changes.

**Fair coaching does not always mean identical coaching.**

Good teachers learn their students.

Good coaches learn their athletes.

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# 10. EXPECT THE COACH TO BUILD RELATIONSHIPS

Athletes usually respond better when they believe their coach genuinely cares about their development.

That relationship isn't built by making everything easy.

Sometimes caring about an athlete means challenging her.

Correcting her.

Benching her.

Demanding better effort.

Having an uncomfortable conversation.

But athletes should ultimately understand:

**My coach wants me to get better.**

When that trust exists, athletes are much more willing to accept difficult feedback.

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# 11. EXPECT THE COACH TO MODEL THE BEHAVIOR THEY DEMAND

If a coach demands emotional control from athletes but loses control every time an official makes a questionable call, athletes notice.

If a coach demands accountability but blames every loss on players, athletes notice.

If a coach demands respect but speaks disrespectfully to officials, opponents, or athletes, they notice.

Young athletes are constantly watching the adults around them.

A coach should model:

• Composure
• Preparation
• Respect
• Accountability
• Work ethic
• Communication
• Integrity

You cannot consistently teach standards you refuse to demonstrate yourself.

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# 12. EXPECT YOUR ATHLETE TO BE ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES

Volleyball is incredibly difficult.

Players are going to:

• Miss serves
• Get blocked
• Shank passes
• Make bad sets
• Miss assignments
• Read incorrectly
• Forget responsibilities
• Make poor decisions

Mistakes need correction.

But athletes also need enough psychological freedom to attempt difficult things.

A player terrified of making a mistake eventually becomes a player afraid to compete.

A developmental environment should teach athletes:

**Make the mistake. Learn from it. Reset. Compete again.**

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# 13. EXPECT THE COACH TO PREPARE THE TEAM TO COMPETE

Development and winning do not have to be enemies.

Families should expect coaches to prepare athletes to compete.

That means:

• Organized practices
• Purposeful training
• Scouting when appropriate
• Understanding rotations
• Teaching systems
• Preparing for pressure
• Building competitive habits
• Making lineup decisions
• Trying to put the team in position to succeed

Winning matters.

Athletes should learn how to pursue excellence.

But winning should never become permission to sacrifice integrity or player development.

We can pursue championships while still doing right by athletes.

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# 14. DON'T EXPECT EVERY COACHING DECISION TO BE EXPLAINED TO YOU

This can be difficult for parents.

You may wonder:

Why that lineup?

Why that substitution?

Why did she change positions?

Why did the coach call timeout there?

Why did another athlete serve?

Parents should be able to ask reasonable questions about their own athlete's development.

But coaches should not be required to justify every tactical decision to every parent.

At some point, coaches have to coach.

That is part of the trust involved when joining a team.

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# 15. EXPECT CONVERSATIONS ABOUT YOUR CHILD — NOT SOMEONE ELSE'S

A productive conversation sounds like:

**"What does my daughter need to improve?"**

An unproductive conversation sounds like:

**"Why is that girl playing instead of my daughter?"**

The coach should protect the privacy and dignity of every athlete.

You deserve information about your child's:

• Development
• Performance
• Behavior
• Role
• Goals
• Areas for improvement

You are not entitled to another athlete's private evaluation.

Keep conversations centered on your child.

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# 16. EXPECT YOUR ATHLETE TO HAVE A VOICE

As athletes mature, coaches should increasingly communicate directly with them.

That might mean an athlete asking:

**"What do I need to improve?"**

**"Can you help me understand my role?"**

**"What are you seeing with my passing?"**

**"What can I do to earn more responsibility?"**

Those conversations teach something beyond volleyball.

They teach athletes how to:

• Advocate for themselves
• Ask for feedback
• Handle uncomfortable conversations
• Listen
• Take responsibility
• Solve problems

Parents shouldn't have to manage every difficulty their athlete experiences.

Good coaches can help athletes learn to manage some of those difficulties themselves.

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# 17. EXPECT CONSISTENCY — NOT PERFECTION

Coaches will make mistakes.

They will make lineup decisions that don't work.

They may communicate something poorly.

They may miss something in practice.

They may occasionally become frustrated.

The standard cannot be perfection.

Look for patterns.

Does the coach generally:

• Treat athletes respectfully?
• Communicate honestly?
• Teach consistently?
• Hold reasonable standards?
• Accept responsibility?
• Care about development?
• Behave professionally?

One imperfect moment does not necessarily define a coach.

Repeated behavior does.

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# 18. EXPECT THE COACH TO KEEP LEARNING TOO

Athletes aren't the only people who should develop during a season.

Coaches should continue learning.

The game evolves.

Teaching evolves.

Athletes change.

Great coaches ask questions.

They study.

They listen.

They seek feedback.

They learn from other coaches.

They evaluate their own practices.

They admit when something isn't working.

Experience is valuable.

But experience should never become an excuse to stop growing.

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# WHAT PARENTS SHOULD NOT EXPECT

Just as there are reasonable expectations, there are also unreasonable ones.

Parents should not automatically expect:

• Guaranteed playing time
• A guaranteed starting position
• A guaranteed team role
• A guaranteed college scholarship
• Every coaching decision to favor their athlete
• The coach to agree with every parent evaluation
• Immediate responses at all hours
• Their athlete to avoid uncomfortable feedback
• Their athlete to never experience disappointment
• Winning every tournament

Club volleyball can provide tremendous opportunities.

It cannot guarantee outcomes.

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# RED FLAGS WORTH PAYING ATTENTION TO

One difficult practice does not make someone a bad coach.

But patterns matter.

Pay attention if you consistently see:

• Humiliation used as motivation
• Personal attacks
• Favoritism unrelated to legitimate team considerations
• Little or no teaching
• Athletes afraid to ask questions
• Chronic disorganization
• Repeated broken promises
• Poor communication
• Disrespect toward officials or opponents
• Athletes outside the starting lineup being ignored
• Safety concerns being dismissed
• Coaches unwilling to accept any accountability

Don't panic over one imperfect moment.

Look at the environment over time.

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# GREEN FLAGS WORTH LOOKING FOR

Strong coaching environments often include:

• Clear teaching
• Organized practices
• Specific feedback
• High standards
• Respectful accountability
• Consistent communication
• Athlete relationships
• Development across the roster
• Appropriate competitive pressure
• Athletes learning to communicate for themselves
• Coaches who continue learning
• Players who understand why they are doing what they are doing

One of the best signs?

Watch the athletes.

Are they becoming more knowledgeable?

More confident?

More accountable?

More independent?

Better teammates?

Better volleyball players?

Development leaves evidence.

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# FROM THE SIDELINE

After spending decades coaching, running clubs, helping athletes through recruiting, and evaluating players, I've come to believe that one of the most important questions parents can ask isn't:

**"Is this coach winning?"**

It's:

**"What is happening to my child while she is being coached by this person?"**

Is she learning?

Is she becoming more accountable?

Is she learning how to communicate?

Is she being challenged?

Is she becoming more confident without becoming entitled?

Is she learning how to respond when things don't go her way?

Is she becoming a better teammate?

Is she becoming a better volleyball player?

Wins matter.

But the scoreboard cannot measure everything a coach is responsible for developing.

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# COACH MIKE DZ'S ADVICE

When evaluating your athlete's coach, don't base your opinion entirely on playing time or wins.

Ask yourself five questions:

1. IS MY ATHLETE BEING TAUGHT?

Can she explain things now that she couldn't explain earlier in the season?

2. IS MY ATHLETE BEING CHALLENGED?

Is the coach asking her to grow rather than simply keeping her comfortable?

3. IS MY ATHLETE BEING TREATED WITH DIGNITY?

Accountability is necessary. Humiliation is not.

4. IS MY ATHLETE LEARNING RESPONSIBILITY?

Is she becoming more capable of communicating, solving problems, handling feedback, and owning her development?

5. IS MY ATHLETE ACTUALLY IMPROVING?

Not just statistically.

Technically.

Tactically.

Competitively.

Emotionally.

As a teammate.

As a person.

If those things are happening, there is probably some meaningful coaching taking place.

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# YOUR FAMILY CHALLENGE

At three points during the season — beginning, middle, and end — ask your athlete:

**What have you learned from your coach?**

Not:

"Do you like your coach?"

Not:

"Are you starting?"

Not:

"How many tournaments have you won?"

Ask:

**"What are you learning?"**

Then listen.

Over the course of a season, that answer should grow.

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# KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Coaching is teaching.
• Parents should expect development, not instant results.
• Every athlete deserves to be coached even when playing time isn't equal.
• Honest feedback is part of development.
• Accountability should never require humiliation.
• Coaches should establish clear expectations and communication procedures.
• Families should respect reasonable communication boundaries.
• Good coaches learn how different athletes respond and learn.
• Coaches should model the standards they demand.
• Athletes need room to make mistakes and learn from them.
• Development and competing to win can coexist.
• Parents should discuss their own athlete, not compare children.
• Athletes should gradually learn to communicate and advocate for themselves.
• Evaluate coaching patterns rather than demanding perfection.
• Coaches should continue developing too.
• The ultimate question is whether the athlete is becoming a better player, teammate, competitor, and person.

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KNOW BEFORE YOU COMMIT.

A good coach should do more than help your athlete win volleyball matches.

**They should help teach her how to become the player — and person — she is capable of becoming.**